just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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