Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
it's great music for shaving your balls
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
