i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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