I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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