I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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