It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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