careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He passed out mid-signature
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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