btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
