ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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