Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I can text with my tongue
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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