those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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