And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
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