get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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