he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Randomize
