Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
