i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Randomize
