After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
