Yo dont text me then not text me
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
