sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
its not stalking. its research.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
