Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize