I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize