I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
