It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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