yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
