You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
