I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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