when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
