I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize