dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
