I molested 6 butterflies tonight
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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