he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Randomize
