Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
