just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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