The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
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