We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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