how can u be prego again
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Randomize
