you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
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