sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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