I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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