I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize