Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
