At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
