READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
