He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
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