I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
