I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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