yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
