Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
