well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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