Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Oh god it's open bar.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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