How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
