So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
one might say we're banned from that church
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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