Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Too much gin, very little bucket
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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