If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
