found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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