Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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