considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
