Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
