She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
