we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
