So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
