So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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