He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
