he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
