Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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